Chapter One: The Golden Egg.

Foundations for Christ-centred deconstruction

Chapter One: The Golden Egg

All the best journeys begin with a story; all the best stories are told, retold and re-retold. They are so embedded in the human consciousness that their familiarity is unmistakable. I could take this particular story as far back as Plato, and a dialogue between Socrates, Plato’s mentor, and Glaucon, Plato's older brother. I will briefly come back to this momentarily. To begin this journey of Jesus shaped deconstruction, I will tell the story of the golden egg.

Legend spoke of an egg so perfectly egg shaped that none could question its “eggness”. This egg was large enough to be cupped with both hands, but was made of solid gold, shone with a luminescence unseen by human eyes and endowed with the power of the gods. One day, a wandering knowledge seeker found a large, gold coloured egg, and immediately told all his neighbours in the village. The villagers marvelled at the egg and asked for a demonstration of its power. So, he got all the villagers into the village square but told them they could not look at the egg, because its power would destroy them. He then proclaimed loudly that great blessing would come upon the villagers. The majority of the crowd were overjoyed at the man’s proclamation, and declared him, “the grand seeker of knowledge”. More sceptical villagers melted away, underwhelmed by this so-called demonstration of power. For the next several weeks the grand seeker of knowledge demanded that the people convene in the village square twice a week to experience the power of the golden egg, but always with the one proviso that no one dare to look at the egg lest they be overcome by its energy. The grand seeker of knowledge would declare that the egg had healed people of their illnesses, guaranteed them successful relationships and predicted great future upheavals.

A few months into the twice weekly gatherings, the grand seeker of knowledge insisted that people brought money to the gatherings because the egg needed to be polished in order for its power to emanate with maximal intensity. He marshalled ten of his closest male friends in the village to deputise the collection of money, and to encourage people to go into neighbouring villages and declare to people the power of the golden egg. Before long, people from other villages were flocking to experience the power of the egg. People became so obsessed with the egg, that members of their family would question their allegiance to the egg and to the grand seeker of knowledge. Yet the number of devotees was growing so rapidly, that the grand seeker needed more lieutenants. He gathered many, including people who had only recently heard about the egg and its divine power.

There was a villager suffering from crippling migraines, who came faithfully twice a week, averting his eyes from the golden egg but embracing the grand seeker’s loud proclamations of healing. Weeks and weeks had gone by and the headaches got no better. He would tell the lieutenants but was told that he probably wasn't giving enough money, that he probably did not attend the gatherings frequently enough and that something about his lifestyle was probably stopping the egg’s power from working. The villager protested that he had never missed a meeting and always brought his money; so, was he to believe that his lifestyle was somehow to blame? He demanded some kind of explanation from the lieutenants. At a loss, the lieutenants told the grand seeker of knowledge of the villager’s complaints. The grand seeker of knowledge labelled the complaining villager the Nihilist. He told the lieutenants to give him a stern warning that his complaints were unwelcome.

There came a day when two of the lieutenants cornered the Nihilist and told him that he had to stop complaining. Perplexed, irritated and still with a terrible migraine, the Nihilist looked deeply into the eyes of one of the lieutenants and asked him, “how do you know that that is even the golden egg? You’ve never seen it yourself, have you? How do you know that the grand seeker didn't just find an ostrich egg and paint it with golden paint”? The lieutenant angrily retorted demanding to know how the Nihilist could dare to question the power of the egg knowing how happy it made all the villagers. However, the other lieutenant suddenly looked puzzled. Pennies dropped in his mind one after another with increasingly loud clangs as he considered for himself - how did he know that the grand seeker of knowledge had found the golden egg? Why was the grand seeker so secretive about the egg? Had anybody other than him seen the egg? How did he know that the villagers were happy - he knew that they were gathered but not that they were happy, after all he hadn't asked any of them!

This was nonetheless the last straw - the Nihilist was told that he was no longer welcome to the gatherings and was permanently excluded. The doubting lieutenant, however, started to ask his fellow lieutenants questions about the egg. It didn't take long for rumours to be spreading around the villages. People were asking questions; was this really the golden egg? How could its power be verified? How many villagers were really happy and how many had questions like the Nihilist but were afraid to ask them. The doubting Lieutenant one day spoke to his neighbours. “What has the egg done for you?” he asked with a semi desperate tone. “It's brought me to the weekly gatherings where I've met lots of lovely people,” his neighbour answered, “I've made some wonderful new friends and it's very comforting having someone as strong and dedicated as the grand seeker of knowledge looking after us don't you think”? The doubting lieutenant thought to himself that even if all of this was true, none of it required the egg to have any special powers. So again, he addressed his neighbour, “what about the egg - have you ever wondered about its power”? “I used to,” his neighbour replied, “but the truth is I've been coming along to the village meetings for so long now that it's just part of my life - I don't really think about the egg anymore, I just know that it's there working its magic in the hands of the grand seeker of knowledge”.

“What could any of this mean,” the doubting lieutenant thought to himself. What if the Nihilist was right? How many other potential nihilists were there living amongst the villagers? Eventually, the doubting lieutenant was outed by one of his colleagues and he was also excluded. Before long there were people being excluded left right and centre. The grand seeker of knowledge would make public declarations during the village gatherings that people were being excluded because their hearts were wicked, that they were trying to destroy the community with their questions and that they were ungrateful for the power of the golden egg. “The egg will always take care of us!” he proclaimed – “your questions won't make you happy they will only make you sceptical and bitter”. Whenever people raised questions about the power of the golden egg, they were told that they were evil and that they had to be excluded to protect the other people in the village who now needed the golden egg to survive.

Some years into the village gatherings, money was so depleted that the grand seeker of knowledge came before all the villagers and demanded that they double their efforts. He said he could feel the power of the golden egg surging through his veins as he delivered his stern charge. He got so excited that he dropped the golden egg, and it smashed on the floor with a loud crash. Without thinking many of the villagers turned around to look at the egg smashed on the floor. Wait! How could an egg made of solid gold smash into pieces? Enraged and despondent the majority of villagers returned to their homes, vowing to never trust in a golden egg again, to never listen to any so-called seeker of knowledge and to isolate themselves from other villagers. Yet there were some even having seen the egg smashed on the floor who turned to the grand seeker of knowledge for answers. The egg smashed because of people's doubts he proclaimed - if people would trust him and gather again tomorrow, they would see the golden egg once more restored to its former glory. Sure enough, the remnant of trusting villagers reconvened in the village square, and the grand seeker of knowledge came amongst them once more clasping the golden egg and proclaiming fresh blessings to the rapturous joy of the remnant.   

This is the story of Plato’s allegory of the Cave; it is why we so easily relate to narratives like The Matrix or The Truman Show; it is the story of the space shuttle challenger which exploded 73 seconds after it launched in January 1986, because the heads of NASA and Morton Thiokol refused to heed warnings about how one of the rocket’s major components (the O ring) would malfunction without the correct temperature conditions, choosing instead to silence the nihilists and doubting lieutenants; it is why people who are glued to the fantasy world created by social media often suffer from dreadful anxiety; it is the story of Lori Ann Thompson, who had consistently told people that Ravi Zacharias had sexually abused her only to be gaslit and suppressed by a non-disclosure agreement; it is the story of many a sincere deconstructor, plagued with doubts and suspicious of the institution that he or she once leant upon so heavily - it is a story we all know too well. If you lie to yourself to uphold the status quo you will create for yourself an artificial sense of security - even when you find out it is artificial, fear will keep you hidden behind its walls. Yet if you deign to raise questions, you may be ostracised, silenced, gaslit and labelled a troublemaker.

It can be incredibly disorienting when something that appears beautiful is shown to be ugly. Sometimes, your own intuition tells you that deep inside this thing is ugly, yet somehow, its superficial beauty keeps you in the darkness. The protagonist, Neo, in The Matrix knew something was not right about the world; his mentor Morpheus described it like this: “What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad”. That splinter in your mind represents the questions, the doubts, the niggling feeling that if you peer beneath the surface you will see the ugliness and it will upset your comfort so violently that you choose to keep looking at the surface. How could something so beautiful actually be so ugly? And what a horrible burden it is to live under the weight of such confusion!

The journey of Christ centred deconstruction must begin with the courage to be honest - and that courage comes from knowing that there is a place where the burden of admitting your confusion, confessing your doubts and getting lost in a maze of questions, will not leave you ostracised, silenced, gaslit or labelled - but embraced:

Come to me all the strugglers and the weighed down and I will revive your spirits! Take my yoke upon yourselves and learn from me because I am gentle and lowly hearted, and you will find relief for your exhausted souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and my burden is weightless (Matthew 11:28-30, author’s translation).

If you are burdened, confused, weighed down, emotionally exhausted, mentally drained, lonely, full of doubts, fearful and lost, Jesus will not tell you it's your fault, tell you that your questions make you evil, tell you to snap out of it, tell you to just shut up and believe or exclude you. On the contrary, he says “come to me”! Some deluded villagers or a religious community might say take your doubts and your wicked heart and get away from us - Jesus says come to me, put your burdens on my back and take up my yoke, which doesn't weigh anything! You not only have the permission to ask if the grand seeker of knowledge really has the golden egg - you have the responsibility! Once you accept that, your journey of deconstruction will become distinctly Messiah shaped and will fill you with brilliant light! We need just a little more foundation - and for that I give you the three philosophers.